Lagos,  love and relationships,  Money,  Self love,  sex,  touring

WHY MEETING A GUY ONLINE IS NOT THE SAFEST THING: MY LAGOS EXPERIENCE.

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This article is based on my most recent experience in the online dating world. If you haven’t read my MY TINDER EXPERIENCE , you should. A few months ago, some guy started to randomly message me on WhatsApp. Obviously I wondered how he got my number but like every other typical guy he said my number just appeared on this phone, I had no idea numbers just fly into people’s phones. I knew it was clearly a lie and I honestly wasn’t ready to entertain him but he became sooo persistent.

He wouldn’t stop calling and texting. At some point I had to block him but he simply got another number. I got tired and I gave up, I decided to entertain him. We started talking and the first thing I noticed was this guy was always dropping names, he would always say things like “I just got back from Paris”, “Am off to Milan “, “I just got my Range Rover” and all that sort of thing. Clearly he felt like saying this things would make me melt in my panties but sadly it just pissed me off so I cut him off Again.

He became a pain in my butt literarily and he kept saying how his Pastor told him I was his wife and he couldn’t afford to lose me. No jokes guys this took things to another level. This story is long but I would try to cut it as much as possible.

Fast forward to when I got to Nigeria, he pleaded to come pick me at the airport so I could stay over at his house, (somewhere in his mind he thought we were dating apparently). I didn’t call or text him till I got to Ibadan because he can be very persistent when he wants to be. Then the pressure to come to Lagos was real. He kept calling and begging, telling him how much he loved me and how he feels like we should get engaged before I go back and how he wants me to get pregnant so by the time I go back he would feel secure. I was just lost, I would tell my mom and we would put the phone on speaker and just laugh. I felt insulted by the fact that he thought I was so stupid, stupid enough to fall for his nonsense. Anyways events leading up to my going to Lagos. Initially he told me he was 34 and when I asked him again out of no where he told me he was 30. In my mind I started knowing he was a FRAUD. Again he told me his name was “John”( that’s not the real name) but whenever he calls me his “TRUE CALLER” I.D was let’s say “PETER MOSES”. So I asked him which are u, John or Peter and he said “oh I have a lot of names”. I got confused but I decided to play along.

When I got to Lagos he came to pick me up and he was driving this super sleek Mercedes Sports car. Clearly he was trying to impress me because he kept taking me to one fancy eatery after the other. One thing I noticed was, he was always on the phone non-stop. During the course of one of his conversations I think he has a spill and he introduced himself as “DEREK”.

He had his wallet on the table so I snatched it, I went straight for his drivers license and the name was “Derek Odion”. At that point I got upset and I told him I was going to my friends house where I was supposed to be staying. But he insisted I followed home, if not he could put me in an hotel of which is refused. So I left and went to my friends house and he was so upset. He got really nasty and started calling me names and told me how ungrateful I was and all that.

Two days after I called and was still insisting I came to his house, so I ACCUSED HIM OF BEING A RITUALIST , A RAPIST AND A 419. I sent his number and photo to my friends and my parents because I was beginning to feel threatened. But I got back home safe and sound and I keep feeling like I DODGED A BULLET. I didn’t get to really know what his intentions were but I didn’t need anyone to tell me it wasn’t safe.

By the way did I mention, he had Zero respect for women. He was one of those men that felt a woman was just for sex and the kitchen( like your president lol) and he got really nervous whenever I was on the phone, especially when I was talking to a guy. Like what’s up with that?

WHAT YOU SHOULD TAKE FROM THIS STORY

1.LIES: People lie, I always say the only person that really knows the truth is the person talking to you. You don’t know what is going on in people’s mind so you have to be careful and ask questions, as many as you can to fell comfortable.

2.ITS NOT JUST ABOUT THE MONEY: This reminds me of a Jesse j’s song. It’s not just about the money. If I judged this man based on the names he was dropping and he car he was driving I would have been sold since. The car might have been a rental and anyone can say Paris, Gucci, Italy and all that. Don’t fall for the names or whatever material they have to offer.

3.ALWAYS HAVE A BACK UP PLAN: I never ever ever go meet a guy or anyone for that matter without having my own money, a place to stay, transportation and all that. I don’t go out planning to be dependent on people. You should be as independent as possible.

4.TELL PEOPLE WHERE YOU ARE GOING: I don’t joke with my security neither do my parents. Everywhere I go I have plate numbers, pictures, addresses and all that sent to my parents and my friends just in case something goes wrong. If possible have someone go with you, if not let them know where you are.

5.DON’T SAY “YES “ UNTIL YOU ARE COMFORTABLE: When a guy I don’t know says I love you, that annoys me because I always say, you don’t know my bad habits, if I fart in my sleep or pick my nose,if I eat loudly and so much more. You can’t love someone truly if u haven’t experienced somethings with them, that’s why spending time with whoever is very important with me, that way you know what you like and what they like.

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