Hey guys its been a while. I am not going to lie i have really missed talking with you guys but my life has been crazy busy. I work basically almost everyday and the little time i have i basically try to sleep and just do my chores so its just crazy busy.
Its been a while i have dated as you know, my dating life is basically not existing. its crazy, i feel like i actually want to meet someone, am ready but i am so busy its annoying and even when i am less busy, i dont know where to go or who to socialize with to get “out there”. So i just end up staying home on my off days and just existing. I feel like an introvert which am not but life has kind of forced me to be an introvert which is annoying but its fine. I guess the right person would come, i dont know.
I actually met someone, two people actually in the last two months and it was basically hopeless.So quick question is it just me or when you are ready to date you either meet someone that isn’t super serious, just wants to fool around or someone that is way to serious and he wants you to move in with him and all that.
DATE 1: The first guy i met was actually Nigerian which was good for me because it felt more like home and i guess i thought i would help the connection process or whatever but has i got to know him better i guess it was a little to much for me. He was expecting me to fall in love with him after 2 weeks of hanging out, asked me to move in with him which wasn’t bad but i guess i wasn’t moving at the same pace he was moving so we started to grow apart. Also he had a child which wasn’t a problem, a child is a blessing but i wasn’t just ready to for that type of commitment not only to him but also his child, he wanted me to meet his child and bond which was too much for me honestly and call me selfish but a part of me didn’t want to share either whoever i am with either. So eventually we just stopped talking. Now i dont know if i regret it or i made the right decision because been single for as long as i have been is lonely but at the same time, i need a relationship or a man that wants what i want and was willing to grow with me without making unrealistic demands. So that ended and that was it.
DATE 2: The second guy i met pretty much lasted for less than 2 weeks. We met online actually and we had a pretty good time. He is white which i didn’t mind ,i really didn’t care for the nationality but he made a very good first impression and i was digging the vibe but he turned out to be super sexual and i couldn’t deal. On the second date, he had his hands all over my body and i kept having to caution him, it was nasty and then he smoked and i truly dont find smokers attractive, i dont smoke and i cant be with someone that smokes. So when he asked me if i wanted to date him, i said no and he got real petty, maybe he was trying to hurt me but then he said “i cant be with someone like you anyways my family and friends wouldn’t approve”. the statement was really messed up and racist. He apologized afterwards and all but there was no coming back from that. So that ended.
I am basically back to square one, right now am in a relationship with myself, my job and my bed. I do believe that i would meet someone but the wait is painful and it gets lonely but i have been loving myself and that would just have to do for now.