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DEALING WITH BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY AT YOUR WORKPLACE

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Been an adult is hard, as young people we are usually not prepared or ready for the problems that comes with been grown up and how to handle the work space. My mom taught me to be respectful, accomodating and tolerant but I didn’t understand how difficult people could be and how you can actually be bullied and rubbished at the work place. I work with Asians, I have been working with them for about two years now and at first I abosutely hated it, it was awful and half the time I was misrable. I still do at times if I am being honest but it has gotten better. My first job moving abroad(Canada) was actually as a teller at a convinence store and it wasn’t pretty at all, My boss was Indian and he wasn’t the best either, I was small and timid and he took advantage of that a lot and I didn’t even know my rights in a workplace so I just took whatever he dumbs on me. I ended up getting a great job in a nursing home but as great as that was, I was basically a sheep thrown in the midst of wolves.

One thing my first job had with this new job was; they weren’t racist but they treated people outside their race differently, almost with less respect which was painful. Language was another major barrier, Asians especially Filipinos really don’t care if you understand them or not or if you feel like you belong or not, they only speak their langauge 95% of the time which honestly upset me a lot, I have my own language that I would love to speak but in a professional space I believe its only respectful to speak English which was infact the offical language of the country as well as the organization. I felt wronged because I felt very uneasy been around them, I felt “sold out” especially when they look at me and say something in their language, I felt like they were talking about me and that’s not the best feeling to have especally in a work place, they had a habit of picking on all my mistakes but instead of actually correcting me, they tell each other and they would later file a complain with the management, instead of just coming to me to correct me. It was tough, sometimes I wake up in the morning and I don’t want to go to work but when I remember my bills pilling up I just had to suck it up and keep it pushing. I know some people deal with worse at work, they get bullied and talked about( I always get talked about lol) and sometimes you just want to quit but for me quiting wasn’t an option, I wasn’t ready for anyone to make me feel little or not good enough because I didn’t look like them or because I didn’t understand their langauge. It was hard mentally and emotionally because I felt like an outsider at a place where I spent 8-16 hours of my day. It was really exhausting and dragging so I decided to help myself since nobody wasn’t going to.

5 STEPS TO DEALING WITH NEGATIVITY AROUND THE WORK PLACE

  1. ADDRESS THE SITUATION;

The first thing I did was to address the situation, I explained the situation to my boss, told her my frustrations and things that made me feel uneasy at work. She tried her best to make me feel comfortable and addressed some of the issues but when there wasn’t any significant change, at the next staff meeting I raised it again politely and things became a little different ever since. It’s not the same compared to my first week at work, for that I was grateful. It was also important to address this publicly so it would be in records, just incase things got out of hand.

2. UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION;

At first my thoughts were, they are so rude, they are so mean, I hate my job and I’m not happy but I got myself to understand the situation. I don’t know if they like me or hate me and I can’t tell if they were doing this intentionally or not but I am begining to understand that it’s who they are, they wouldn’t change who they are and I shouldn’t make people dictate how I would feel at work at the end of the day. I took this as a challenge to come out my best self and make this an experience to learn from.

3. TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF UNWANTED SITUATION;

At the end of the day outside my work life there are so many things that brings me joy and happiness so I wasn’t going to let random people take that away from me so the first thing I did was to stop having lunch with everyone, what’s the point of being the only black person in the midst of asians when I couldn’t even understand what they were saying? So instead, on my lunch breaks I call my friends and family, facetimed them and at the end of lunch I’m just happy and refreshed and ready to get back to work. I don’t go for work parties because I would rather be happy with my family and friends rather than placing myself in a situation that would irritate me. At the end of the day how you react to a situation you are in is “your choice”.

4. DO YOU JOB;

I can’t emphasize this enough but when you are in a work space where things are already difficult for you, you have to prove you are an asset, work hard, get to work on time, don’t over do it but it’s imporant to be diligent. Let your work speak for itself, the last thing you want is for people at work to say you are lazy and when the management looks into it, it turns out to be true then nobody would take you seriously, even when you have a problem at work, it wouldn’t be a big deal because they already have a wrong impression for you.

5. ALWAYS BE POLITE;

The last thing you want to be is bitter, passive aggressive and rude at work. Good manners would get you everywhere, the way you carry yourself determines what you attract to yourself. You don’t have to be friendly or try to impress people, just a simple thank you, please and I’m sorry would go a long way in your work space.

At the end of the day take this situation as an oppotunity to grow and be a better person and never let anyone belittle you or bring you down.

12 Comments

  • Steph Social

    When I was younger, my first job was awful! My boss was an older man and used his authority to make sexual passes at me and it made me super uncomfortable yet I was worried to lose my job! I eventually told my mom and we addressed the situation!

    • beautybeyondphysique

      Wow, I’m glad more women are speaking out about sexual harassment at a work place. Reminds me of my school experience. Glad you are fine

      • Nelly

        I have had the sane issue and I was only 19 yet stayed at that job for two years. I do not know how I did it but those girls were brutal.

    • A.naberry

      My team is nice and fun, but I can’t really talk with them since they different age and have a more responsible position so I often feel meaningless to them. I prefer to keep workplace professional and not getting too close with anyone. Normally when I do not feel comfortable with what’s going like adult jokes and perv stuff I just take myself out and keepeing myself busy with work.

      I think just mind your own businnes and do not really look for friendships at work. 🙂

  • Bree

    This is really great advice! I have been in situations before where I was treated differently and with the right set of tools you can handle it better!

  • Cash

    Bullies are everywhere. Whites bully Asians, Asians bully Whites, I think it has nothing to do with race. When it comes to bully, there are only three races; the bully, the victim and the couldn’t care less.

    One thing I find out, bullies are chicken. The day you whack them back verbally or emotionally, they back down.

  • Alexandra Cook

    this is such an important topic that everyone needs to pay attention to. It’s not easy being treated differently.

    • A.naberry

      My team is nice and fun, but I can’t really talk with them since they different age and have a more responsible position so I often feel meaningless to them. I prefer to keep workplace professional and not getting too close with anyone. Normally when I do not feel comfortable with what’s going like adult jokes and perv stuff I just take myself out and keepeing myself busy with work.

      I think just mind your own businnes and do not really look for friendships at work. 🙂

  • David Elliott

    I suppose a lot of it would have to deal with how toxic the situation is at work. These are good steps to try to focus on the areas of work you can control and do the job to the best of your ability. I think understanding promotes the quickest way to resolution, although it doesn’t always work.

  • Trina Dinnar

    Your post is very insightful and has given me inspiration. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and ideas!

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