I decided to do this series because its 2019 and a lot of people don’t even realize that they are in a toxic relationship and some people are aware but they don’t understand how they got into that situation or how to get out of it. One minute you are in a loving relationship and perfectly happy and the next you are crying yourself to sleep every night because that man or that woman you have chosen to give your heart to has become a monster.
I am going to start of by describing what a toxic relationship means, its funny because whenever most people hear the term toxic relationships the first thing that comes to mind is “physically abusive relationships” and I feel like that is why most people are still tolerating so many things they shouldn’t in a relationship, we believe “as long as he doesn’t lay his hands on me or beat me” then we are good and we can get past anything. But your partner doesn’t have to hit you before you realize your relationship is unhealthy or toxic, infact most physically abusive relationship occur as a result of ignoring all the signs that your relationship is toxic. According to healthscopemag; ” a toxic relationship is a relationship characterized by behaviours on the part of a toxic partner, that are emtionally and not infrequently physically damaging to their partner”.
Look at it this way: a healthy relationship is supposed to help you grow and become your best self; your self esteem grows because your partner constantly uplifts you, your emotional energy is high, you are happy, confident but a toxic relationship does the exact opposite, it damages yourself esteem, drains your energy to a point where you just exist and you cease to live. You stop looking forward to tomorrow because it’s probably going to be worse than today. If your partner constantly talks you down, makes you feel like you can’t do anything right and points out all your flaws and mistakes, disrespects you and has no problem embrassing you in private or in public then that relationship is toxic and what it does to you is, it damages who you really are and you start losing sight of your goals, belittle your achievements and you are constantly looking for your partner’s approval. You start going out of your way to impress them and lets be clear, they are never going to be impressed or satisfied with whatever you do. Your authentic self would soon begin to wither away into someone you dont recognize because you compromise on everything, your standards, happiness, life goals, belief and everything that makes you, You.
So many people can’t leave these kind of relationships because they have been broken to a point where you now feel like no one would want you or love you because you are so “worthless” and “damaged”. The second you stop feeling the love and mutual respect in your relationship and fear starts to tingle whenever you see your partner, that relationship if its not already toixc is getting toxic. Even self centeredness is a sign of a toxic relationship( partner) because it stops being about “ME” the second you are in a relationship and its starts been about “US”, when a partner is all self-seeking and doesn’t care about you, he/she would hurt you without thinking about you twice.
This series is about fighting back and taking back the love and sanity you desreve. Nobody deserves to be in an unhealthly relationship. In the next post I am going to discuss how people end up in a toxic relationship, the signs you missed, and types of toxic relationships. Being in a toxic relationship isn’t a sign of weakness and its nothing to be ashamed off. It’s okay to speak up.