If you haven’t read the introduction to THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP SERIES then you should in order to have a more in depth understanding about what a toxic relationship really is. There are quite a few types of toxic relationships and some of these don’t even appear as toxic to you until you actually look into it and you become enlightened and start realizing how your partner’s action or perphaps how your actions may be toxic.
1. THE DOMINATOR; Some people hunger for power, dominance and control and all they basically want to do is control every single aspect of your life. They dictate what you should wear, eat, who you talk to, whether or not you work, where you go, what color your hairstyle is and so much more. You basically have no say or control over your life. What this kind of relationship does to you is, it damages you and your identity and after a while you have an identity crisis, you don’t know who you are, you only know who your partner wants you to be, this is a kind of relationship you want to run away from because at the end of the day, the worst thing that can happen to a person is to lose who they truly are.
2. THE PESSIMIST; You never want to be with a person who only sees the negative side of life, they are never positive and there is always something wrong, they just bring you down constantly every single day. This type of relationship would steal your joy, every ounce of happiness you have, steal your drive and you just gradually start becoming resentful, angry and just hateful.
3. THE BELITTLER; You definitely don’t want to be with a person who makes you feel so small and always belittles everything you do. When you accomplish something incredible, they make you feel like its nothing and you slowly start to belittle every amazing thing you do, nothing you do is good enough because when your partner belittles you everytime, they start to damage your self esteem.
4. THE LIAR & THE CHEAT; I decided to combine this two points together because while a liar is not necessarily a cheat, every cheat is definitely a liar. Yes, sometimes ” a little white lie won’t hurt anybody” but you don’t want to be with someone that lies about everything, everytime, someone you can’t trust and you have to always question everything they say, question their loyalty, question their love for you. You don’t want to be with someone you have to double check everything they say every time because eventually it’s going to catch up with you, you are going to wear yourself out trying to catch up with every lie, he/she would drive you crazy and paranoid and you would basically turn into an overnight stalker and this would damage your ability to trust people in general, likewise if your partner is a cheat, they are simply telling you that you are not good enough and there is someone better out there. What a cheat does is he/she forces you to question yourself worth and value and you never want to be a point in your life where you think you have no value and you are not good enough.
5. THE DRUNK & THE GAMBLER; Please, please and please, I can’t emphasize this enough but avoid dating a heavy drinker or gambler because those kind of people are not usually sane. They have the potential to physically, mentally and emotionally abuse you, they constantly embarrass themselves and you. Sometimes you even get yourself in debt because they always squander money and have zero self control or responsibility, they bring people down and you get drained by trying to fix them or trying to get them sober and you end up getting hurt. It usually never ends up well.
6. THE ABUSER; Typically, it goes this way; you get in a fight or an argument and in this case i’m going to say with your ‘boyfriend’ because it’s one of the most common scenarios I am familar with and out of nowhere he slaps you across the face and immediately he says ” I’m sorry” and he says how much he loves you and how he has never hit a woman and naturally you forgive him and let it go. Forgiving him is not the mistake most people make, staying is the relationship is the mistake they make because its never going to stop, it’s going to be a reoccuring circle of beatings accompained with apologies. The second your partner raises their hands on you, they are telling you and showing you who they are and what they are capable of doing to you, what you do with that is your choice. Woman/ Man beaters don’t change overnight and they always apologize right until they get you killed. You can’t afford to tolerate someone that physically abuses you, you deserve so much more and you are not a punching bag.
7. JEALOUS & INSECURE PARTNERS; If you are in a relationship with someone who is insecure and constantly jealous then they have a very high tendency to be dangerous. A jealous partner is always on your case, they get jealous of your relationship with friends and family, your job, financial stability and they would always try to check and dig into your life. Jealousy comes with an unhealthy obsession and they suffocate you because they are too insecure to let you grow and be happy.
8. THE BAD TEMPERED PARTNER; Dating a partner with bad temper is like walking on “eggshells” throughout the relationship because you never know what would trigger their next rage and it is emotionally exhausting. We are human and mistakes are bound to happen, we step on each other’s toes but if you have a partner with a bad temper you are basically not allowed to make a mistake because the consequences are bad and when there is a burst out, you feel like it’s your fault and you blame it on yourself and at some point you even start feeling like you deserve to be punished for their outburst.
9. THE USER; This type of Toxic Relationship are one of the most overlooked types, people don’t understand how dangerous it is to be in a relationship with a person who uses people. They only want to take from you, they often seem very nice and pleasant as long as they are getting what they want from you but the truth is you can never give them enough, they would drain you and when they are done they would leave you high and dry, heartbroken, broke and miserable and you wouldn’t even know where to start from. Some people lose everything and even get suicidal because they have nothing left. Once your partner is always taking from you without caring how you get it and still comes back with more and more demand and mostly contributing little or nothing to the relationship, then you have to maybe take a deeper look and evaluate that relationship. Whatever feelings they have for you is not real they only love what they can get from you. When you invest so much in a relationship and you get nothing in return, it damages a person.
10. THE COMPETITIVE PARTNER; It’s great to have a healthy competition once in a while but with this type of people everything is a competition and it’s not in a way to help you grow or push you to be your better self, No. They compete with you to bring you down, to show you they are better than you. They love seeing you fall in life so they can help you back on your feet just to prove you that you are nothing without them.